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Shock as conservative paper suggests Cameron is better than Miliband
“Even the alphabet is against him, with these ethereal floating letters standing for ‘Conservatives’ll beat ‘im’!” said the Times newspaper The world of politics was rocked to its very core this...
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Party leaders outline policies based on personal lives
“I’ve won! I’ve won!” In an unusually transparent move the three main political parties are announcing new policy pushes today, all of which are tailored specifically to the individual needs of their...
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7-party debates replaced with 93-party debates
Police try to hold back political party leaders as they storm the BBC studios The breaking news that televised UK political debates may now include seven parties, has been immediately superseded by the...
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Miliband going round saying he ‘could totally have’ Cameron
“I could basically be in UFC” Ed Miliband has been walking round like a puffed-up pigeon and asking girls if they want to feel his biceps, after David Cameron today ruled out taking him on in a...
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British politicians ‘too thick to feed themselves’
“We did a graph” A groundbreaking study has discovered that many MPs lack the basic intelligence required to open their mouths and put food in. Research undertaken at the Slough School of Thick found...
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3 Minute Visions: The Conservative Manifesto, by Michael Fallon
‘Safe Hands': two of the great things about Michael are that, unlike dangerously unhinged Ed, he used public funds to pay his mortgage, and achieved a drink-driving ban for no less than 18 months! In...
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Cameron unveils final election slogan: “Miliband’s a cunt who can’t eat bacon...
As the Sun so brilliantly puts it; a cause celebre for our times As party leaders tear around the country hunting last-minute votes, David Cameron has revealed a final campaign slogan; Miliband is a...
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“It would be different if we got a free pen out of it” say non-voters
“Now THAT would be worth all those Suffer-jets riding horses for” Britain’s legions of non-voters said today that the main reason they couldn’t be arsed to go to the polling station was because of the...
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